A - Multiple Viewing Possibilities
B - Deserves Another Look
C - Once Should Suffice

THE TAILOR OF PANAMA
With Pierce Brosnan, Geoffrey Rush, Jamie Lee Curtis, Catherine McCormack, Harold Pinter
Directed by John Boorman
Where Brosnan suavely filled the 007 suit, here he plays a more nasty British spy who becomes the bane of an ex-con turned tailor in the exotic but ambiguous Panama. Trying to get information form the tailor on his high profile customers, the half-truths get fatter and more elaborate, sending the misinformation all over the place, escalating into near international crisis. When millions in currency also become a factor and hidden agendas get serious, trouble becomes more than just a sticky situation. Marvelous director Boorman tends to drag the narrative out somewhat in this outing. Sure, it's based on a Le Carrè novel, but by squeezing in all of the slow moving sequential chapters it doesn't really translate so well to the screen as opposed to reading the suspense of it all on the page. In stead it feels a bit like a mini-series edited into one film (even though the running time is a mere 106 minutes). Those into the intriguing spy game will love it and although it feels like an older audience will enjoy it more than a younger pace-hungry crowd. Interviews with Brosnan & Rush shed additional light on the picture, not to mention Boorman's commentary track accompanying the film (if you wish to activate it).
3 / C
- PB

TAKING LIVES
With Angelina Jolie, Ethan Hawke, Keifer Sutherland
Directed by n/a
From the trailer to this thriller there aren't too many surprises left, except maybe the very final punchline. Jolie is a cop who gets deeply involved in her job. When she's on the trail of a man who has been killing most of his life, taking the identities of those he murders, she falls for the only witness who can identify them. With the two hot leads of Jolie and Hawke (a sex scene obviously thrown in as well), the filmmakers attempt to juice it up further with the inclusion of Sutherland - not a very satisfying, nor convincing pay-off. This merely feels like a throwaway bit of cop & killer we've seen in various incarnations over the decades. The highlight of the film is the fact that Philip Glass composed the soundtrack.
2 / C
- PB

THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY
With Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, Cate Blanchett, Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Directed by Anthony Minghella
It is the late 50’s. Tom Ripley is a young man with more talents than anyone would know. After filling in for a piano player, pretending he was at Princeton, the host of the party, the wealthy Mr Greenleaf asks whether he knew his son, Dicki. He says “yes”. And that’s where all the problems (and good times) start. Greenleaf asks Tom to travel to Italy (for a fee) and try to convince his philandering son to return home. In stead, Tom gets engrossed, tempted and eventually obsessed by the lifestyle, and Dicki himself (regardless of his fiance). Part of Ripley’s talents include impersonating people, lying and forging signatures. From the outset it was all a lie, but he lives it well. When the friendship novelty wears off for Dicki, things get dark. When murder is the result, Tom’s true talents come forward as he slips into a new identity with ease - but, with many loose ends, possible witnesses and a suspicious Paltrow, things seem not to go as smoothly as expected. The body count rises and Ripley’s confidence starts to shake. Damon and Law’s performances are admirable while the intriguing story is well constructed, heading in all sorts of interesting directions. It could’ve been shortened, though. Here writer and director seem to succeed in having the audience sympathize with a psychopath.
4 / B
- PB

t.A.T.u. - Screaming For More
The feisty Russian teenage pair of Julia & Lena (who like to play up to male schoolgirl-lesbian-action fantasy) do their thing on this DVD in several ways - but not like the more perverted would have hoped. It features the video clips to their hits All The Things She Said and Not Gonna Get Us (in its original forms, Russian & remixed versions). It also includes 30 Minutes and How Soon Is Now. There are Q&A's and a (mimed) MTV Spain appearance, plus a rehearsal. The pseudo-lesbo schoolgirl thing may work for some and may be enough to keep it afloat for those who don't need much more. Other than that, the tunes are actually quite infectious. There is also a 3-part behind-the-scenes look and takes you from Russia to the USA for the recording of their debut album 200km/h In The Wrong Lane. A Photo Gallery is also included. Fun and frivolous.
3 / B
- PB

TAXI
With Queen Latifah, Jimmy Fallon, Giselle Budchen, Ann-Margaret
Directed by Tim Story
For starters any kind of tacky, souped-up car movie since The Fast & The Furious are fantasy pieces for sad-ass boys who dream of racing their kitsch looking hunks illegally at night (even PlayStation games are getting boring with titles in that genre). Which brings us to this masterpiece. Queen Latifah plays a new taxi driver who modifies her car up to a 007-styled thing with turbos and the works. A klutz of a cop who can't drive properly gets his license taken away. He's on the trail of a (get this) Brazilian bikini model bank robbing gang, and recruits Latifah as his driver as he gets closer to cracking the case. Obviously they don't get along, and obviously Queeny is wise-ass beyond belief. Chases, crashes and lame jokes are not enough to save this from sucking exhaust. The opening scene is enough to drop it in the trash - a bike courier races with a mountain bike in full gear through New York City - slim, fit and swift. On arrival at the depot, racing against the clock, all of a sudden the hefty Latifah takes off the helmet - hilarious! And if you're into those dumb drinking games, how but taking a shot every time she says "Daaamn!"
PS. The biggest shocler off all however is the fact that it was produced by Luc Besson and was based on his original screenplay!
1 / C
- PB

TEACHING MRS. TINGLE
With Helen Mirren, Katie Holmes, Jeffrey Tambor
Directed by Kevin Williamson
After penning the popular teen TV series Dawson’s Creek, Kevin Williamson turned to fond memories of slasher flicks like Halloween to inadvertently resurrect the genre with director Wes Craven in Scream. I Know What You Did Last Summer rolled around (and sequels for both), coined it big-time and spawned many imitations of the imitation. Williamson has a keen sense of USA teen-life (but for those who haven’t experienced it, we are unsure of its accuracy). Written and directed by him, the horror elements are few if any. Here we have the top class student whose mom is a waitress and share her dream of getting out and becoming someone - it all depends on the scholarship. The one thing that stands between her and success is Mrs. Tingle, the nasty history teacher who’s bent on having her, and pretty much everyone else be failures. With a mistaken stolen test paper causing total disaster, our protagonist and her two friends (all good looking white kids) decide to go and explain. But Tingle is adamant and insist to tell the headmaster. Things get out of hand and Tingle ends up tied to her bed to listen to reason, or else. They try to find ways to remedy the ever-spiraling situation but it gets worse, especially when Tingle starts to manipulate their minds. Some giggles and relatively tense sequences prevents the film from being a totally non teen flick, but that’s basically what it is: a date movie in which to neck with the boy or girl of your choice.
2 / C
- PB

TEAM AMERICA
With the voices of Trey Parker, Matt Stone
Directed by Trey Parker
Those of us who grew up with the often crude but lovable marionette TV-shows like Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlet and in South Africa Interster, this is beyond a blast. South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone go 3D as they create a post-9/11 world where a self-appointed world police force of classic stereotypes blow everything up to rid the world of terrorists (causing more damage than good). They recruit an actor to help them with an operation. The outrageous villain is Korean Kim Jong-Il, who suckers the Film Actors Guild (FAG) to side with him against the blemished Team America. With a host of annoying Hollywood actors recreated as puppets, most get killed and blown to bits in spectacularly bloody (and hilarious) fashion. With great puppets by Killer Klowns From Outer Space creators the Chiodo brothers, and brilliantly detailed sets, Team America takes a tacky entertainment style, soups it up and capitalizes on the shortcomings for added laughs. With the film's intention to take the piss out of big budget action movies ala Jerry Bruckheimer, they recruited director of photography Bill Pope, who worked on movies like The Matrix. As with the South Park movie, some hilarious songs are thrown in. Extras include a range of fun making-of featurettes and docy's.
PS. Also features a puppet sex scene!
5 / A
- PB

TEARS FOR FEARS
- Tears Roll Down: Greatest Hits '82 - '92
The '80s will never go away. It's not just because those of us sitting in the 30 - 45 age group have fond formative year memories and reminisce through music. Fashion faux pas' aside, the pop music from that era was great. One of the many groups from that time that made good music that can still stand up against current releases include Tears For Fears. They took the electronic prevalence of that time and injected live instruments, fantastic dual vocals and lyrical thought into it. This DVD collection of their landmark tunes include such classics like Change, Mad World (recently covered by Gary Jules and used in the film Donnie Darko), Shout, Woman In Chains, Everybody Wants To Rule The World and Sowing The Seeds Of Love. The only slight downside is the economical and basic videos most of the early tunes received, but this also adds to the nostalgia many of us have for that decade, seeing these videos again.
5 / B
- PB

Classic TEARS FOR FEARS
The Tears For Fears duo have written, produced and recorded some great songs especially during the '80s as well as the early '90s. Ten of these appear on this DVD. From Shout, Goodnight Song, Mothers Talk, Head Over Heels, and Advice For The Young At Heart, to Everybody Wants To Rule The World, Sowing The Seeds Of Love, Woman In Chains (with Oleta Adams), and of course Mad World. Videos on this release not to be found on the Classic Clips release include Break It Down Again and Goodnight Song. If you want all of their videos though, you'll have to get the Classic Clips DVD as well for the songs Change, Pale Shelter, Laid So Low and I Believe. No extra features.
5 / B
- PB

TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU
With Julia Stiles, Heath Ledger, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Lisa Oleynik, Larry Miller
Directed by Gil Junger
Teenage love, lust, frustration, irritation, hate, egos and the cry for accepted individuality are 7 of the ten things that make up this teen flick. OK, there may be more, but you needn’t worry about them. As a millennial closing teen movie, this one is above average (most of this genre being below that, in case you didn’t know). A new guy arrives at school (befriending a nerdy klutz) and is instantly smitten by a young princess whose dad won’t let her date. The reason being, he’s a doctor who delivers countless teenage mothers’ babies each day. He makes a deal, he’ll let her date if her anti-social sister gets a date. The plot kicks in as our new guy hires the only man who’ll date his dream girl’s sister, allowing them to do likewise. Obviously feelings get entwined as individual fronts aren’t what they seem underneath. True personalities come to the fore all round and quite a few great laughs result. The only one who remains a total jerk is the idiot who models for catalogs and crap TV ads - the source of many funny bits. Overall it’s a great feel-good teenage movie that can be enjoyed by a cross section of our marvelous gender divide, in a way teaching us a few lessons we might have lost sight of.
4 / B
- PB

THE TERMINATOR
With Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Michael Biehn, Paul Winfield, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton
Directed by James Cameron
This was director Cameron's ticket into the Hollywood big time (quite a leap from Piranha 2 Flying Killers!). His innovative tale greatly boosted by the muscular Arnie sees a man return from a future where robots have taken over the planet, eradicating humans everywhere. He has to protect Sarah Connor (the mother of the as yet unborn resistance leader John) from a cyborg sent back in time by the machines to exterminate her. With a limited budget, the filmmakers made the best of it and convincingly so, especially with Stan Winston's pre-digital era FX. Arnold's title role also fast tracked him from an Austrian muscleman who played B-roles like Hercules to an A-list Hollywood hard hitter. The Terminator is an irresistible classic creating a new sci-fi genre. The double disc DVD special edition includes a retrospective, a documentary, deleted scenes, various trailers, artwork stills, several picture galleries, plus a DVD-Rom segment with various development drafts of the script. Subtitles come in a dozen languages.
PS. The film features Cameron regular Bill Paxton a small role as part of bunch of punks who get on the wrong side of the determined Terminator.
6 / A
- PB

TERMINATOR 2 - JUDGEMENT DAY
With Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong, Robert Patrick, Joe Morton
Directed by James Cameron
It took about seven years before salivating Terminator fans got their sequel. Since then Cameron made impressive films like Aliens and The Abyss - and a good thing for it, as the liquid digital FX created for the latter became an essential part in the second installment's driving force. Sarah Connor has been taken up in a mental hospital, her ramblings of time travel, an apocalypse and killer robots from the future not gelling well with the authorities. Her boy is now a teenager in foster care. The ruling robot force sends an even more powerful and advanced Terminator back to the present to take care of future resistance leader John Connor (played by a young, whistle-throated Furlong in his (often annoying) big screen debut). But, the resistance manages to reprogramme an old Arnie model and send him back simultaneously to protect John. Great scenes of action, destruction, tension and Arnie charm drive this blockbuster home. Sure, you can argue, why didn't the robots from the future merely send the new jacked-up Terminator to the time the first one was sent, but once you start arguing with a concept that doesn't officially exist in our dimension yet, don't wrack your brains - it's a movie. Brad Fiedel's ominous soundtrack boosted from his minimalist, dated one for the original.
PS. Badboy rockstars of the moment, Guns 'N Roses were roped in to supply the theme song.
6 / A
- PB

TERMINATOR 3 - Rise Of The Machines
With Arnold Schwarzenegger, Claire Danes, Nick Stahl
Directed by David Mostow
First off, who is mister Mostow? Where is creator James Cameron in the equation? Not even a writing or executive producer contribution? Was Edward Furlong approached to reprise his role as John Connor? While the questions can keep on rolling, the matter at hand ended up being entertaining enough not to be dismissed outright (except for the new female Terminator who appears dripping in hair products and lip gloss - a dark haired actress without a pudding face would've been more convincing). While she's there to track down Connor and other members of the future resistance, Arnie is back again as protection. Actions they thought were halted in the Judgement Day chapter seem to be reactivated. Some spectacular chases, explosive action and terrible humour keep the momentum rolling. It's kind of like Mad Max 3 - enjoyable, but you feel a little uncomfortable attaching it to the first two triumphs (at least the Mad Max series had its original visionary attached throughout - before he started making kids & animal movies). Arnie is looking a bit old, but still has it (however cheesy and stale) - perhaps his political aspirations will now take over. Injecting a female Terminator was one of the logical next steps and some future-present-past loose ends get tied up to a certain extent, the ending a nice surprise. It can end there, but what's the chance? Movie franchise-wise, if there's money to be made, there's no stopping them. Hey, maybe they'll melt the Matrix and Terminator stories together for a TV series! God forbid…
4 / B
- PB

TEXAS - The Greatest Hits
A Scottish band called Texas playing in Paris. Their band name actually comes from their love of the movie Paris, Texas - also the title for their live concert DVD shot in Paris (France) - a full circle dream come true. This box set includes a Best Of disc, a remix disc and a DVD. This group's fine pop songs are also well executed with a variety of up-tempo tunes, slower sad numbers, and acoustic tracks. Sharleen Spiteri is a talented lady with a kind of natural beauty that doesn't get flaunted or over-styled & glammed. The ex-hairdresser started writing songs with her partner Johnny. This DVD contains a 15 song live set in Paris with all the faves, as well as a dozen music videos. Sharleen's French grandmother allowed her to grow up speaking the language fluently and she communicates well with the audience in their mother tongue. The band also does a cover version of Elvis Presley's Suspicious Minds after Inner Smile (which featured her in Elvis make-up, leather outfit & struts for the music video). The dozen music videos include: In Demand with actor Alan Rickman, Inner Smile - the Elvis rip (also replicated it on the live show without the make-up job), Black Eyed Boy, I Don't Want A Lover, Summer Son and Say What You Want. In the Extras department there is an exclusive clip of Sharleen's acoustic performance with 2 DJs at the Brixton Academy in 2001 on Madonna's tour, as well as an interview. The Greatest Hits CD puts together 18 songs from their first hit I Don't Want A Lover, through Summer Son, So In Love With You, Everyday Now, Black Eyed Boy, and Halo, to Prayer For You, Insane, Tired Of Being Alone, and Say What You Want (All Day Every Day) with Wu Tang Clan. You also get the limited edition remix CD with 9 songs mixed by the likes of Rae & Christian, Giorgio Moroder, Youth and Roger Sanchez. A very wide reaching collection.
5 / A
- PB

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
With Marilyn Burns, Gunnar Hansen, Edwin Neal
Directed by Tobe Hooper
A group of hapless teenagers travel through backwater Texas and to their detriment crosses paths with a creepy, cannibalistic, sadistic family who abducts, terrorizes, slaughters and eats their victims. This film gave birth to one of the screen's most vivid anti-hero killers, the chainsaw wielding Leatherface (getting his name from the peeled human face he wears like a mask). The morose atmosphere erupts into pockets of brutal intensity even when the horror is more often than not implied or off-screen - the menacing sound of Marilyn Burns' blood curdling screams and the pursuing revving of Leatherface's chainsaw making quite an impact. While the remake wasn't a disaster, none of the sequels and spin-offs managed to capture the gritty terror and cult status of this original shocker.
6 / A
- PB

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
With Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Erica Leerhsen, R. Lee Ermey, Andrew Bryniarski, Eric Balfour
Directed by Marcus Nispel
At the sight of this remake's trailer I punctuated it with a loud raspberry. The though tof anyone having the audacity to attempt remaking such a classic film of unparalleled terror was insulting to me. But, in its defence after watching the film, this reappraisal of the classic early '70s Tobe Hooper horror comes out the other side in tact. The writers took the basic idea of a group of youngsters crossing through backwoods Texas and falling prey to a family of freaks and inserted their own themes, deleting specific characters and added some others. Thankfully key maniac Leatherface (the chainsaw-wielding son and head butcher of the screwed up family) is untouched. Fortunately the same year (1974) was also kept and not updated to a modern time of annoying American brats ala Scream. A kid and abducted baby is added, the wheelchair shifts from the van of teens to the old man in the house, the female meat hook victim becomes a guy, the freaky hitch-hiker also gets a gender switch with suicidal tendencies etc. The dark design with its hot, musty & grimy locations is effectively conveyed via original cinematographer Daniel Pearl's eerie approach, removing the film from modern glossy slasher crap. The menacing nature of the story also get little touches added to make the viewer care a bit more for the characters as opposed to fresh meat for the killer over whom no tear will be shed. While some rabid TCM fans (not Turner Classic Movies) will be outraged at the gall to remake a classic such as this, I must admit I shared that view until a third into the film - yet it turned out to be a satisfyingly gruesome, shocking, creepy experience which would've been even better had it not been based on the landmark original (which was in part inspired by the Ed Gein serial killings), that fact impossible to ignore. Biel is pretty damn hot and Ermey sadistically brilliant. And as my tense tendons relaxed remake of another classic swung around - George A. Romero's Dawn Of The Dead. Why don't they just remake E.T. while they're at it!
4 / B
- PB

TEXAS RANGERS
With James Van Der Beek, Dylan McDermott, Usher Raymond, Rachel Leigh Cook, Alfred Molina
Directed by Steve Miner
In the same vein as the lame new breed of post-Young Guns Westerns, Texas Rangers falls right in there, and flat at the same time. This TV looking film of the resurrection of the Texas Rangers out to right the wrongs of a cattle thief and murderer travelling to Mexico with his gang becomes as boring as it does annoying. The young incompetent new recruits follow their sickly leader and learn the hard ropes with the lust for vengeance sometimes outstripping that of justice. And it does not necessarily have a TV feel to it because of the many television actors - the entire film has that mood, tone and look. Sit through this if there is really nothing else with which to occupy your precious time.
1 / C
- PB

THICK AS THIEVES
With Alec Baldwin, Rebecca DeMornay, Andre Braugher, Michael Jai White
Directed by Scott Sanders
Surprisingly pleasant badguy thriller with the elements spreading from the Italian mobsters in Chicago to the Black underground in Detroit, and the man who binds it all together, Baldwin, (the thief) smack bang in the middle, causing a stir - justifiably so. The Italians get the thief to pull a job by stealing food stamps from a warehouse in Detroit, the Black mob there acting as connection and back-up. But they make the mistake of their lives when they try to double cross him, getting two cops to pull him over, kill him and take his 20 grand. They end up with bullets in them and the thief sets out to get back at those who set him up. A firestorm erupts. A touch of ‘80’s and a quirky humorous angle, Thick As Thieves has an array of great characters (bright, stupid, funny, stereotyped, cool, intense, vertically challenged, dog & vinyl LP lovers) which makes it a slightly off kilter thriller that leaves you with a smile on your face in stead of a bad taste in your mouth as the credits roll.
4 / B
- PB

THE ONE
With Jet Li, Delroy Lindo, Jason Statham
Directed by James Wong
We live in a world with multiple parallel universes where we all exist in different lives and situations of many dozen alternates. In the future a system is developed to jump between these realities. When one cop abuses this travel privilege and figures out that killing your alternate identities in these parallel universes add to your strength of body and mind, his rampage seems to know no end. Until he comes face to face with his very last parallel identity, who is not going to lie down. With two inter-dimensional cops after him, the race is not only on to save his own life, but also holds the inherent possibility of existence itself ceasing to be due to this tampering with physics. A great premise and amazing action from martial arts genius Jet Li with a cool futuristic slant makes The One an explosive cinematic experience, even if its hand is deeply burrowed into The Matrix cookie jar.
PS. By the way, is there a hidden Hong Kong gem with both Jet Li & Jackie Chan together? If not, with this flashy 2nd big budget Hollywood effort for Li, it's probably on the horizon as a shrewd producer sees those $$$ signs flash up. But, for us movie fans, we'd want to see that for the sheer genius physical action ballet it would turn out to be.
4 / B
- PB

THE THING
With Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley, Richard Dysart
Directed by John Carpenter
The Thing, together with Halloween and Escape From New York, make up my favourite (unrelated) Carpenter trilogy. This early '80s remake of the '50s alien B-movie gets a modern update, not only in the timeline, but also in the jacked-up special FX that took a sudden upsurge in that decade. The cold, boring existence of an American Antarctic weather base is ripped apart when a Scandinavian station's crew chases a dog into their territory. The men are killed, the dog saved and on investigating their camp they find it destroyed and evidence of an incredible find. It was an alien life form, and has now infiltrated their camp, slowly it starts to take over by using the men as host bodies - they're stuck with each other, unsure who may be friend or foe, the weather caging them together in a great piece of survival cinema. With such an incredible mood, excellent special FX and convincing performances, Carpenter more than improved the original material on which the early film was based. Russell is as cool as ever. Bottin's diverse, incredible, visceral, gross and creepy FX becomes one of the film's standout characters (especially the disembodied head which gets a life of its own!).
DVD bonus features for this '80s classic include a making of documentary and commentary by Russell and Carpenter.
6 / A
- PB

THIN LIZZY - Greatest Hits
Part of the Universal Sound & Vision box sets, this Thin Lizzy release collects all of their best tunes in audio and video form. The DVD includes 19 original clips for The Boys Are Back In Town, Waiting For An Alibi, Killer On The Loose, Sarah, The Rocker, Chinatown, Wild One, Dear Miss Lonely Hearts, Johnny The Fox, and live versions of Rosalie, Don't Believe A Word, Dancing In The Moonlight, That Woman, Thunder And Lightning, and Bad Reputation. Whiskey In The Jar is taken from a classic vintage Top Of The Pops show. Most of the clips are basic performance pieces, some of the videos hilariously tacky (Chinatown being one in particular).
The two Hits CDs highlight three-dozen classic tunes, including most of the abovementioned, as well as Jailbreak, Cold Sweat, Yellow Pearl, Showdown, Black Rose, Angel Of Death and live versions of Cowboy Song and The Boys Are Back In Town. You also get head honcho bassist Phil Lynott collaborating with former Thin Lizzy guitarist Gary Moore on the legendary Parisienne Walkway and Out In The Fields.
5 / A
- PB

THE THIN RED LINE
With Nick Nolte, Woody Harrelson, George Clooney
Directed by Terence Malick
Days Of Heaven director Malick makes a film every now and then. This WWII epic is slow, languid affair filled with sweeping scenes of landscapes, hidden enemies and tense soldiers. An amazing visual piece, obviously focussing on the horror of war, but some may find the film-maker a little self-indulgent - but then, many self-indulgent films are sometimes masterpieces. Judge for thineself.
5 / B
- PB

3000 MILES TO GRACELAND
With Kevin Costner, Kurt Russell, Courteney Cox Arquette, Christian Slater, David Arquette
Directed by Demian Lichtenstein
An action flick will always remain just that. We're lucky when a Dobermann or Die Hard come our way (but then in most cases it gets sequeled to kingdom come). This baby is another out of the ordinary actioner that blends a romantic element, comedy and an Elvis fixation to full effect. Costner and Russell are the two masterminds behind a Vegas Casino robbery. It's an Elvis convention and you can imagine the Vegas streets. The gang are all aptly disguised as, you guessed it, The King. A blasting shootout sends the whole plan down the tubes and when allegiances within the team go sour, betrayal and death is the result. The sub storyline of the girl & her kid works in pretty well as the hunt and chase for the millions turn everyone against each other. The kid deal is also not a soppy, annoying one. Costner is great as the possible iligitimate badass son of Elvis. The role seems to scream Micky Rourke, but I guess that would be an obvious bit of casting. Perhaps Costner's credibility can get a boost with this one. Violent, slick and funny with many quirky and strange scenes (look out for the midget Elvis who gets it!) as well as cool small parts by Jon Lovitz and Ice-T. One scene will have vintage car freaks die as a beauty sinks to the bottom of a river. Sure, it's the basic greed and love action thrill spectacular, but it's put together craftily, even though it could've been at least 15 minutes shorter.
4 / B
- PB

THIRTEEN
With Holly Hunter, Evan Rachel Wood, Nikki Reed, Deborah Kara Unger
Directed by Catherine Hardwicke
For viewers who may find the films of Larry Clark a bit too visceral, Thirteen could be a touch more on the palatable side - while still dealing with similar issues of American youth and their moral decay in an ever more extreme society. Thirteen follows the course of a young girl who befriends the popular rebel chick, fast tracking her from hello kitty into the adulthood world of drugs, shop lifting, sex and total rebellion. With a single mother desperately trying to hold things together, the strain and tension flares. It's hardly a preachy bit, but family values, friendship, identity and self-respect surfaces. Co-written by young actress Reed and director Hardwicke, it could be an eye opener to some parents who believe their children will never get a hormonal switch and that commercialism, music videos, movies and the lust to be "it" has no effect on their precious angels. Great all round performances. We were all young once, and know what we got up to and how we thought we fooled our parents. This 'aint no Ken Park, but also carries impact on another level which needn't be as explicit.
5 / B
- PB

13 DAYS
With Kevin Costner, Bruce Greenwood, Steven Culp
Directed by Roger Donaldson
Not many people are aware of just how close our planet came to a nuclear war. Under the administration of President Kennedy, Russia installed a threatening amount of tactical nuclear weapons in Cuba, just a few hundred miles off the Florida coast. This (sometimes long winded but intriguing) account of the two weeks that tormented the US government in trying to reach the safest and swiftest resolution for this problem without dumping the planet into WW3 is a tale that needs to be told. One cannot help but to look at this narrow world crisis escape in the light of the recent psychotic terrorist attacks on the World Trade center in New York and the Pentagon in Washington. That humanity need to sort out their idiotic differences goes without saying, but what to do when the other side refuses to comply? The casting for John & Bobby Kennedy was pretty accurate, while the president's advisory assistant played by Costner has an exaggerated accent, which can sometimes get a little distracting. Sporadic black & white film seems to serve very little purpose besides remind you that this happened in the 60s. Whether we have more serious issues like the Cuban missile crisis facing us in the future is probably a definite, but all we can do is hope & trust - or stand up and shout - but will that merely add to the distortion of the already screaming fanatics? Diplomacy by those voted into power will have to use their best judgement, as they did in the events depicted in this film.
3 / C
- PB

THIRTEEN GHOSTS
With Anthony Shalhoub, Embeth Davidtz, Matthew Lilliard, F. Murray Abraham
Directed by Steve Beck
If MTV horror is your bag o' bones, then look no further. After the death of an eccentric, his nephew (who's down on his luck with two kids after his wife tragically died in a house fire) inherits his house. Thinking it's the answer to their prayers, they are in fact part of the ludicrous scheme to set an evil mechanism in motion. This is just too ridiculous, from the elaborate house to the glasses that make ghosts visible. The wide spook variety is fun, but dumb. The biggest star here is the elaborate house with its glass walls and ancient writing sandblasted onto it; the design is magnificent, but the story and performances pathetic. Even the poster design outdoes this one.
2 / C
- PB

THIRTY TWO SHORT FILMS ABOUT GLEN GOULD
With Colm Feore, Jessie Grieg, Sir Yehudi Menuhin, Bruno Monsaingeon
Directed by Francois Girard
Francois Girard takes the personality, talent, genius, life and strangeness of legendary master pianist Glen Gould and structures it into JS Bach’s Goldberg Variations of 32 vignettes. From dramatized scenes to documentary interviews with friends & colleagues relating anecdotes, mannerisms, events and wonders that comprised this complex man, we are given an original look at an artist few of us knew could be as interesting. Visually poetic and stimulating to the ear as every scene is awash with the ivory renditions of Gould’s recordings.
5 / B
- PB

THIS BOY’S LIFE
With Robert DeNiro, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Barkin, Jonah Blechman
Directed by Michael-Caton Jones
Stunning drama about a staunch, overly strict step-father who stfles a boy’s growth. Before DiCaprio’s shot to stardom, he played in some great dramas proving his budding acting talent in full force. Other highlights of his early career include What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? and The Basketball Diaries.
5 / B
- PB

THOMAS AND THE MAGIC RAILROAD (in Afrikaans)
Met Alec Baldwin, Peter Fonda, Mara Wilson
Regisseur: Britt Allcroft
Hierdie familierolprent is die geliefkooste Britse treintjie se eerste wyedoek avontuur (vol Amerikaners…). Dis nogal 'n verandering om vir Alec Baldwin te sien sonder 'n frons, vuurwapen en 'n vloekwoordjie of twee. Ons jong heldin (Wilson) is 'n goeie klein aktrise wat nou vinnig groter word. Die ster is natuurlik Thomas.
3 / C
- PB

THREE KINGS
With George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg, Ice Cube
Directed by David O. Russell
This must be one of the most invigourating, funny, graphic and entertaining films made about the Gulf War (or any other in recent years, for that matter). The war is over and three soldiers of varied ranks (plus an uneducated white trash kid) pursue the trail of a map they believe will lead them to billions in Kuwaiti bullion. Among an uprising against Saddam, they have to choose between greed and doing the right thing. An unusual film results that surpasses the convention of what war movies ought to be like. Well worth watching for good, serious & funny performances, relative unpredictability and a fresh texture and style lacking in cliché films on the subject of one of man’s most ludicrous ideas: war.
5 / A
- PB

THREE TO TANGO
With Matthew Perry, Neve Campbell, Dylan McDermott, Oliver Platt
Directed by Damon Santostefano
Cute romantic comedy placing Perry in a now trademarked klutzy slapstick character frame. Together with his partner they stand the chance to strike a multi-million dollar renovation project. The whole thing gets threatened when, the man holding the strings for the job, asks Perry to look after his mistress (Campbell - yum). Thing is, he thinks, he’s gay, that’s why he has no worries. Obviously Perry falls head over heals, but more and more people start thinking his in fact gay…when his partner happens to be the gay one. He struggles to contain himself being in such close proximity with the woman he madly in love with. They get along so great and seem to be made for each other. You can imagine the outcome, but the ride that takes you there is filled with silly little jokes and slapstick moments, but with Perry quite likable and Campbell so tasty, who cares? A popcorn muncher that won’t win any awards, but will serve as a good start for an evening; especially with someone you’re interested in but have been too chicken to admit.
3 / C
- PB

THUNDERBIRDS
With Bill Paxton, Ben Kingsley, Anthony Edwards, Sophia Myles, Ron Cook
Directed by Jonathan Frakes
Those of us who grew up in the '70s and were exposed to the marionette joy of the original TV series Thunderbirds, Stingray and Captain Scarlet (most dubbed into Afrikaans!), will probably frown upon this live action remake. Sure, the puppets were unrealistic, but if it was seamless and totally believable, we wouldn't have such great memories now would we? Here the Casey family's Thunderbirds international rescue team is trapped in space by The Hood, who has a dastardly plan up his sleeve (besides revenge). It is up to the youngest member of the family (who is dying to be out of school and a full member of the team and his nerdy side-kick) to save the day. This will be fun for younger viewers who will not exactly be amused by the classic episodes and revert to their practical magic after this more hyper digitally boosted reworking. The theme song will also instantly bring back memories I those who remember the TV show.
2 / C
- PB

THURSDAY
With Aaron Eckhart, Paulina Poriskova, Mickey Rourke, James LeGros
Directed by n/a
Too many Pulp Fiction hints and comparisons in the marketing shys away from this film’s darkly humourous interior. An ex badass lives the happily married suburban life, his sins behind him…until his old partner shows up asking him to keep a suitcase until he returns the same day. A string of ex-cohorts and freaks pop up, putting him through sheer hell. Poriskova is even hotter than in her heyday (if they didn’t use a body double here…ooh!). She’s so nasty you’ll beg her to torture you. Over the top violence and madness, you gotta love it.
3 / A
- PB

TIME BANDITS
With With Sean Connery, Craig Warnock, David Rappaport, Kenny Baker, Jack Purvis, Mike Edmonds, Malcolm Dixon, Tiny Ross, Ian Holm, David Warner, Ralph Richardson, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Katherine Helmond, Shelly Duvall
Directed by Terry Gilliam
One of the funniest, most innovative time travel flicks of our time. Besides the prominent actors like Sean Connery, Sir Ralph Richardson, David Warner, Ian Holm, Shelley Duvall, some Pythons and a gang of vertically challenged thesps, the movie has an overall magic trapped in everything from its elaborate set design to its wacky humour. Directed by Pythonite Terry Gilliam (he of Baron Munchausen, 12 Monkeys and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas fame). His distinctive style can be detected in most of the crazy set-pieces which involve a young boy taken on a historical time travel trip as a bunch of midgets are on the run from the Supreme Being, having nicked his map which marks the time holes in the universe. A wild ride that gets better with recurrent viewing.
6 / A
- PB
…the 2nd opinion…
TIME BANDITS
With Sean Connery, Craig Warnock, David Rappaport, Kenny Baker, Jack Purvis, Mike Edmonds, Malcolm Dixon, Tiny Ross, Ian Holm, David Warner, Ralph Richardson, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Katherine Helmond, Shelly Duvall
Directed by Terry Gilliam
With the backing of ex-Beatles guitarist George Harrison's Hand Made Films, Gilliam (the only American) in the Monty Python team, further bloomed into his inimitable directing and visual style after Holy Grail and Jabberwocky with this incredible time traveling romp. A young boy is flung into the adventure of his life when a gang of dwarves (who stole a map of the universe from God), use time holes to zip in and out of different historic points to steal great treasures and make a getaway to another era before caught. This is an absolute ball with a great sense of humour on top of the fantastic storytelling and unique execution. A timeless movie (ha-ha!) not to be missed.
6 / A
- PB

TIMELINE
With Paul Walker, Frances O'Connor
Directed by Richard Donner
With movies like Superman, The Omen and the Lethal Weapon actioners under his belt, this is disappointing coming from director Donner. Based on a Michael Crichton novel of archaeologists who travel back in time, it was made a bit too close to The Lord Of The Rings trilogy, which makes any big budget production with swords and castles pale in comparison. A group of archaeology students get pulled in by the government to find Walker's dad (who was working with them on a time-travel project). They have to go back to 1357 and, obviously have a limited time to return. They find themselves amid an English-French feudal war. When the time-travel device blows up, they're trapped. While it's no low-budget fare, Timeline feels too much like an over-long Outer Limits TV episode with nothing to truly blow you away.
PS. Veteran Oscar winning composer Jerry (Alien, The Omen) Goldsmith's original score was replaced by that of young new name Brian Tyler (whose previous work includes Six String Samurai, Frailty, The Hunted and Darkness Falls - he also scored the recent Robert DeNiro cloning flick Godsend).
1 / C
- PB

TINA TURNER - Simply The Best: The Video Collection
Tina is more than just a persistent tannie. Starting in the days when TV watchers never thought it would ever turn into colour, Tina and her abusive husband Ike made a soulful, energetic duo. After finally dumping the bum, she went out on her own, but it wasn't until What's Love Got To Do With It revived her career in the 80s - with a vengeance. This video collection contains a blend of promo clips as well as live footage. The latter include songs like I Can't Stand The Rain, Robert Palmer's Addicted To Love and the Mad Max 3 theme song We Don't Need Another Hero. Even in her more mature years Tina still rocked live (she'd been quiet of late). The videos are mostly garish, bright, soft focussed '80s visions, Tina shaking her wig and dancers letting rip, her being the focal point, of course. The videos include her best known resurgent hits like The Best, Private Dancer, What's Love Got To Do With It and Steamy Windows. Her collaboration with Rod Stewart (It Takes Two) gets added while a live version of the David Bowie / Iggy Pop tune Tonight gets a live rendition with surprise-surprise, Bowie appearing as guest vocalist! This DVD is pretty much a digitally re-mastered version of the '91 video collection release with not even so much as a documentary on the woman's life and accomplishments. Don't expect any classic old stuff (besides the Nutbush City Limits revamp), you'll just find her career resurrection up until the beginning of the 90s. So, no Goldeneye Bond song, I'm afraid. Of the 21 songs, the last is a "secret version" of What's Love Got To Do With It - a black & white, more moody video than the bright and day-glow one aimed at the MTV hard sell. While extra bits would've been great, this collection is a sheer treat for those who recognise the impact Tina Turner has had on the music industry not only as an artist, but also as a strong, independent woman rising to legendary status.
4 / B
- PB

TINA - All The Best: The Live Collection
Hooking up to her all-encompassing CD collection of the same title, this DVD captures some of Tina's greatest live performances. You get 25 hits including the obvious: Private Dancer, What's Love Got To Do With It, Steamy Windows, Show Some Respect, I Can't Stand The Rain, Goldeneye (from the Bond movie), Addicted To Love, Nutbush City Limits, We Don't Need Another Hero (from the Mad Max flick) and more. Guest vocalists include that of David Bowie on Tonight, Bryan Adams on It's Only Love, and Cosa Della Vita with Eros Ramazzotti. The last track is part of the bonus chapter that also includes an interview with Tina, The Best, Paradise Is Here, Be Tender With Me Baby and Open Arms (an appearance on Parkinson).
The lady is a legend in her own time and these live recordings around the world are a testimony to her resilience, talent and courage after the disaster that was her and Ike.
5 / B
- PB

TINTIN
A few decades ago when we were a little younger, the only TV entertainment at our disposal was Haas Das Se Nuuskas, Wielie Walie and Derrick (and he's still alive!). We had to keep ourselves amused in other ways, even before TV (and I'm not talking about getting frisky with the Jacobs sisters in the backyard). Reading was still an important and integral part of our daily lives. (Do kids still read today?) Unlike the violent, gory (yet, excellent) graphic novels available nowadays, the best (and more wholesome) equivalent we had was that of Asterix and Tintin (although comics like House of Mystery and Ghostrider was never excluded). Be it on the moon or under the ocean, Belgian artist Herge's creation (since 1929) never failed to entertain us, and that in 45 languages, including Afrikaans. The wonderful world of Tintin whisked us off to great foreign locations filled with action and intrigue, bad guys and wicked plots galore. The characteristic artwork and fine stories kept us glued. The immortal Tintin has been around for 60 years and seen the publication of 120 million books (and rising) in 50 countries! Sony has recently launched no less than 21 videos of the young Belgian journalist, his buddy Captain Haddock, trusty doggie Snowy and a host of other colourful characters. You can now relive these great adventures on video, or enjoy it for the first time if Tintin was never a part of your past.
THE RED SEA SHARKS
Tintin's subject matter has never been one to be compromised - mere kidnappings and empty threats by megalomaniacs don't always get the cliche' treatment. In The Red Sea Sharks we find Tintin and Captain Haddock (known for such creative utterances as "A billion blistering barnacles!") on the trail of arms dealers. This is the result of a meeting with a General Alcazar. This leads to their discovery of another smuggled cargo which goes under the code-name "Coke". Well-well! This lively adventure sends our heroes to Khemed which is sheer Tintin excitement. The animation of these films are so close to the actual original artwork that those familiar with it won't be disappointed. The story content isn't watered down either.
DESTINATION MOON & EXPLORERS ON THE MOON
These two tapes chronicle the epic venture of the whole Tintin gang into outer space. There is no place Tintin hasn't been! On the first tape, the preparation for Professor Calculus' mammoth project of a rocket launch to the moon gets under way, technical details, humour and accurate characterization receiving equal shares of attention - then there is always the suspense and action. Calculus invites Tintin and Capt. Haddock to join him as he works on this, the most exciting project of the 20th century! As to be expected it won't be a smooth ride with a number of political enemies out to wreck their attempts. What leads us into the next Moon installment is Professor Calculus' invitation to Tintin & Haddock to actually join him on the trip to the moon! As in their preparation for the launch, the actual trip to the moon and encounters on its barren surface are not without action packed twists and turns. Life threatening situations abound and some unexpected events turn things around, a smooth ride not assured. Fun and excitement with a great out-of-this-world setting, other than plain old mother earth. The red & white rocket and orange Michelin Man space suits worn are unforgettably authentic to the phenomena known as Tintin.
TINTIN AND THE PICAROS
As I mentioned earlier, Tintin's plots don't only rely on dumb-ass themes like kidnapping. Yet, it is a necessity which needs to occur at least once or twice, as we find here. The difference is, Herge' approaches it in an original way without Murder She Wrote-style idiocy. His humour throughout all of these great stories is also invaluable. In The Picaros the world renowned opera star, Bianca Castifiore is kidnapped by General Tapioca. Tintin is on the case with Haddock along for the ride; all to Tapioca's delight as he set the whole thing up to trap Tintin. Sure, Snowy might just be there for cosmetics, but sometimes he actually comes in handy.
THE CASTIFIORE EMERALD
Tintin's life of excitement knows no end. In this tale we're not taken to exotic forests or ancient ruins but are wrapped up into a plot with priceless jewels at its core with Tintin's resident Marlinspike Hall as location. The owner of these jewels are none other than the Opera singer Bianca Castifiore. Her visit to their abode has the media in an uproar, not because of her accompanied maid Irma or pianist Igor Wagner, but because of her jewels. The whole thing freaks out our grumpy Capt Haddock and for good reason. I give you one guess what happens to the jewels...
CIGARS OF THE PHARAOH
In this, one of my favourite Tintins we are caught in a mysterious plot involving cigars and smuggling. But as to be expected of a Tintin tale, nothing is ever as clear cut as it seems. The Egyptian setting makes this exotic actioner very visual with Tintin evading narrow scrapes with death and recurring enemies. In this episode he also hooks up with some loyal friends like Senor Oliveira and the bowler hatted, mustachioed identical Thomson and Thompson. The New York Times once stated that Spielberg's "Indiana Jones" is pure Tintin. That is quite evident in this great installment.
FLIGHT 714
Always jet setting around the globe, here we find the gang on the way to the International Astronautics Congress in Sydney, Australia. The plans get altered when they meet the multi-millionaire Laszlo Carreidas on a stopover. When they accept his invitation to continue their trip on his private jet, we're launched into yet another plot, which sends the team on another trail of danger and intrigue.
TINTIN IN TIBET
Tibet is a great setting for the exploration of another culture. This is what gave Tintin its longevity and fan base of young and old. Its in depth look at the unfamiliar can actually teach us a lot. What we have here is Tintin on vacation...but not for long! On hearing that his friend Tchang was in a plane crash with no survivors, Tintin & Co set out to look for him anyway - that's just the loyal kinda’ guy our Tintin happens to be. As one should know by now with Tintin, things are never as they seem, as you're engrossed in another fine tale of unpredictable entertainment, wild chases and wise-cracks.
LAND OF BLACK GOLD
An energy crisis unfolds when the sabotaged gasoline supply causes car engines to explode! Not only power mad fiends and mysterious political forces are the villains. So are shrewd businessmen. The setting in this fine story is that of Arabia where Tintin unravels a plot to depose Emir Ben Kalish Ezab. The baddies behind it all are Skoll Petroleum and Bab El Ehr. If their plot bears fruit, they'll rule the world with the powerful Formula Fourteen...but not if Tintin can help it. Another kidnapping is at the base of this one, but it's a rich little brat, so perhaps you'll be rooting for the bad guys in stead! Thompson & Thomson deliver most of the comedy relief, as they're lost in the desert.
4 / B
- PB

TITANIC
With Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane, Bill Paxton
Directed by James Cameron
Most expensive film (up to date), raking in big time at the box office. Touching little love story wrapped around the spectacular sinking of the world’s so-called indestructible passenger liner. Fantastic digital FX and some soppy lines culminated in several Oscars. Many factors playing for and against it, but whichever way it should be seen.
5 / B
- PB

TOMB RAIDER
With Angelina Jolie, Jon Voight
Directed by Simon West
Be you straight, gay, lesbian, transsexual or whatever else, denying that Jolie is one tasty crumpet is a blatant lie. Better casting for the groundbreaking PC & PlayStation games heroine there could not have been ion this cracker of a big screen adaptation. It is the time of a 5000-year lapsing planetary alignment and our beautiful, tough, tasty, skilled & wealthy heiress with a taste for adventure, exploration and action falls into the center of a world changing event. Her father, who died when she was young (portrayed by Jolie's real life dad, Voigt) left her clues for this shattering event. But a powerful group wants access to the artifacts and knowledge she holds in order to control time itself. This leads to some great action and showing plenty of Jolie's attributes. The fun attitude threads throughout, from shoot-outs & chases to corny segments which can be forgiven as it's based on a game, after all. Even those who'd never touched this on any kind of games platform can get a kick out of it - the central character the main focus - and what a focus it is. A great soundtrack to boot.
3 / B
- PB

TORQUE
With Martin Henderson, Ice Cube
If you've seen The Fast And The Furious, then don't expect much different from this one - except that its preferred mode of transport here are motorcycles (and the producers had something to do with the aforementioned Vin Diesel hit). Our wise-ass hero returns after a long absence - a drug dealer on his tail; his ex thinking he ditched her and is in the same business; while a bike gang leader believes he killed his brother. With stylized digitally enhanced sequences and physics law defiance, the action is swift and flash, but this is not the kind of 90-minute music video I like sitting through. Machismo, artificial sex appeal and more style than content is pretty much what it boils down to. Unless you're a bike freak or fan of TV shows like Fast Lane, this will bore you to tears.
2 / C
- PB

TOTAL RECALL
With Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin, Michael Ironside, Sharon Stone, Ronny Cox
Directed by Paul Verhoeven
Before Basic Instinct, Verhoeven continued his US sci-fi slate (with this Dan O'Bannon adaptation of a Philip K. Dick story) of a man who may not be who he believes he is. After checking out a possible virtual holiday on Mars, our workingman starts to uncover a plot involving that planet, some parties intent on knocking him off. He's faced with a life and death dilemma, not sure if he's being framed, going crazy and if is reality or fantasy? This elaborate, action packed adventure is a great ride with fine Rob Bottin FX, and some classic Arnie moments amid the often violent but invigorating scenes that never loses sight of its sense of humour.
5 / B
- PB

TOTO - Past To Present
Hearing any one of this truckload of Toto songs will result in instant recognition. Be it the range of different vocalists (including local boy Byron) or any one of their songs ending in a vowel: Rosanna, Polyanna, Africa etc. This popular rock band has one hell of a history and will probably carry on forever. Those who couldn't make any of their SA shows can pick this tape up as a substitute.
3 / B
- PP
…the 2nd opinion…
TOTO - Greatest Hits Live…And More
The only difference between the Toto's 80s live performances and one you'd see now would be the questionable hairstyles and fashion of the day - oh, and a few wrinkles (plus a missing original drummer who tragically died of cancer, I believe). The band's most notable songs came from that era, be it Rosanna, Hold The Line or Africa. That's what they'll be remembered for. Toto performs from the heart and does so flawlessly. Like many of the old video releases getting slapped onto DVD, at least here they bothered to add some extra bits. Besides the live show you also get some interview and documentary footage. Mainly for true Toto fans.
As a bonus you get the 13-track Past To Present Best Of CD, covering their hits from 1977 - 1990. Rosanna, Pamela, Africa, Hold The Line, Stop Loving You, 99 and I'll Be Over You are included. Four of the songs are previously unreleased, Animal, Love Has The Power, Can You Hear What I'm Saying and Out Of Love.
4 / C
- PB

TOUCHING THE VOID
With Brendan Mackey, Nicholas Aaron, Joe Simpson, Simon Yates
Directed by Kevin MacDonald
This intense docu-drama tells the true story of two ambitious, energetic young mountain-climbing friends (Joe Simpson & Simon Yates) who attempted the dangerous, never before attempted west face of the Siula Grande in the Peruvian Andes in the '80s. When the weather turned hairy and they had to head back down, one of them had a bad fall, breaking a leg. Some serious and shocking decisions had to be made. The survivors tell us this staggering story as the scenes are effectively reenacted. An astounding tale of survival, guts (as well as stupidity) that is absolutely absorbing. Highly recommended.
5 / B
- PB

TO WALK WITH LIONS
With Richard Harris, Kerry Fox
Directed by n/a
Simple, yet touching film dealing with the last years of this lion activists's life. In his African haven for lions (rehabilitating the ones used in the film Born Free, based on his ex wife Joy’s best seller). The young man who accidentally ends up working with him ends up becoming an advocate for lions and wildlife till this day. Harris is wonderful. Heart moving, intense as well as sad, To Walk With Lions unfortunately won’t get the exposure and attention it ought to.
4 / C
- PB

THE TOXIC AVENGER Part II
With Ron Fazio, Lisa Gaye
Directed by Michael Herz, Lloyd Kaufman
Indie film legend Loyd Kaufman's Troma has produced a string of zany, crazy movies since the '80s. Toxie has subsequently become the Troma mascot. This second installment of the mop-wielding New Jersey super hero (an ex-towelboy who got his ass kicked by jocks, accidentally falling into a vat of toxic waste) is an even bigger blast than the original, as his Spider-Man-like toxic sense detects wrongdoing, sorting it out in the most extreme way. While our guy travels to Japan (on a windsurfer!), to find his long lost dad, the Apocalypse Corporation wants to turn his hometown of Tromaville into a toxic waste dump. You think he'll leave the culprits unsquashed? With hilarious moments in every scene, please make sure you don't get the censored version, as the extreme gore is as big a part of this non-stop laugh riot as its cheesy and hokey sense of low budget brilliance.
5 / A
- PB

TRACKS
With Chris Gunn, Ice-T, John Heard
Directed by Peter Wade
What could've been a more studied and better executed movie about a minor tried as an adult for a stupid childish act leading to a man's death, plays like a TV movie. The young man's hardships in jail, his befriending of one of the guards and allegiances behind bars make for some fleeting viewing, but the sporadic pace and failure to illustrate the passage of time also drags down the potential for dramatic propulsion. Some casting errors also add to the downside. Based on actual events, this is not enough to prevent Tracks from leaving the viewer unsatisfied.
2 / C
- PB

TRAFFIC
With Benicio Del Torro, Michael Douglas, Katherine Zeta Jones, Steven Bauer, Dennis Quaid, Miguel Ferrer
Directed by Steven Soderbergh
Staggering effort by the director of a varied body of work such as sex, lies & videotape and Erin Brockowich. The viewer is taken through most of the drug food chain. The supplier - the dealer - the user - those trying to stop it on both sides of the Tex-Mex border. This amazing conundrum of interwoven events are centered around a big supplier getting bust via a squealing employee. We get a peek into the life of the US judge out to crusade against the drugs and his ignorance of his daughter's own addiction. Then there are the cops protecting the witness and the Mexican cops fighting from that side (Del Toro's award winning performance in the Mexican scenes shot in grainy sepia tones as oposed to the slick, sometimes blue tungsten gloss of the States scenes - both textures favoured in the Ad world). The drug lord's wife is cut off from absolutely everything and would do anything to maintain her lifestyle and protect her child. This huge, important film is a gritty, realistic look at the ins & outs of the drug trade, how deeply it runs and what a futile runaround it can be. Well shot, wonderfully played and inspiringly directed, this one has to be seen.5 / B
- PB

TRAINING DAY
With Denzel Washington, Ethan Hawke, Scott Glenn, Dr Dre, Snoop Dogg
Directed by Antoine Fuqua
In this atmospheric and hard hitting thriller, Hawke plays a young cop with a wife and baby, going out on a trial run with the experienced head of a narcotics squad in LA. He wants the promotion for several reasons: a better pay cheque and the chance to do good the two main objectives. The whirlwind day takes him through the underbelly of what his new position will entail - and then some. His boss-to-be is an eccentric, arrogant but effective law enforcer. Slowly the day grows more intense until it spirals out of control. Coming within inches of his life on more than one occasion, our rookie's eyes are opened far more in one single day than his entire career thus far. When the lines between law and crime start blurring, it's only your instinct that will triumph, be it for the greater good or bad. The two leads are fantastic, Washington in his cocky, confident and no-shit way, and Hawke in his subdued good-guy, inexperienced personality, blending drama and action fluidly. Training Day is an exciting cinematic experience with a fresher approach to the good-cop-bad-cop routine.
4 / B
- PB

THE TRANSPORTER
With Jason Statham, Shu Qi, Francois Berleand
Directed by Cory Yuen
A real Luc Besson fan will not be fooled by the endorsement of his name. Sure, he co-wrote and co-produced this stylish action romp, but didn't direct. What do you mean "who's Luc Besson?"! He's the great modern French director who brought us the likes of The Big Blue, La Femme Nikita, Leon (aka The Professional), The Fifth Element and Joan Of Arc. British actor Jason Statham (who first came to our attention via Guy Ritchie's Snatch) took a stab at an American accent in The One (with Jet Li), and does the same here, with some extra iron pumped bulk and his trademark whisper. He plays a retired military man in Monaco who delivers any kind of package - at a price, and adherent to strict rules. With his black suit, zippy German luxury car and flipping registration numbers, he delivers - and it is hardly ever for legitimate businessmen. When he drops off a highly suspicious package (which seems to be far more than an inanimate object), he breaks his own rules and is thrown into the middle of a deadly and sleazy deal, him being the only man capable of sorting it out - with force. Together with classy cinematography and wild action sequences The Transporter may well be flash (with the heavy digital soundFX sometimes pounding your chest - a warning to the fact was outside the cinema I attended the first viewing, so your surround home system may be tested here) - there has simply been too many of these action films utilising similar techniques, styles and characters for this one to be beyond anything special. It still remains a blast, but could've been a whole different picture had Besson directed it himself.
3 / B
- PB

TRAPPED
With Charlize Theron, Kevin Bacon, Courtney Love, Stuart Townsend
Directed by Luis Mandoki
While Ms Theron is still being cast as the beautiful young wife, this time round she's placed in the position of victim, decider of her child's fate and empowered avenger. A crafty bastard, his wife and dumb cousin perform careful, disciplined kidnappings with well plotted contingency plans, never failing - but it would be naive to think that our suspicions didn't lean towards this time being different? When our latest victim and her husband become the target, her instincts seem to be no match for their cunning - up to a point. With mother, father and young daughter held hostage in three different locations, it looks as though there would be no way out but to comply to the ransom demands - and the lustful ones from the mastermind…But with a competent hand, director Mandoki manages to keep us intrigued (with a twist or two) without it falling into TV-movie hell. Tense and well acted in parts (especially from the little girl), Trapped won't go down in the annals of cinematic brilliance, but will surely make for a good time spent in front of the box.
4 / C
- PB

TREASURE PLANET
Directed by John Musker & Ron Clements
Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island gets a futuristic Disney make-over. First published in 1883, his tale of a young man with a treasure map who goes out on the open seas to find his fortune, identity and destiny translates very well into this sci-fi setting. In stead of going all out spacey, the story integrates the seafaring elements of sail ships, pirates and the salty dog lingo with futuristic technology. A space traveler crashes beside the inn run by our young hero's mother. Before perishing he hands him a sphere map and his pursuers land, destroying the place. The map holds the key to a treasure that seemed to be mere myth. There's no two ways about it, he has to head out and find it. When he hits the decks he's in for a surprise as a ruthless pirate cyborg and his gang have infiltrated the crew, having been after the map in the youngster's possession for ages. Treasure Planet combines excitement and action with a relationship study at the heart of it and (as per usual) has a wide age group appeal.
4 / B
- PB

TRIPPIN’
With Deon Richmond, Maia Campbell, Donald Faison
Directed by David Raynr
Greg, or rather, G, is about to graduate from high school, but he spends his time daydreaming about booty & mo’ money instead of filling out college applications. His parents nag him but he just likes to hang with his two pals. That all changes when he falls for the brightest and most beautiful girl in his class. This doesn’t stop his daydreaming, though, but does inspire him to go through the tedious task of filling out applications. Most of his daydreams are hilarious. Although loads of urban African-American stereotypes exist, at least this time it’s taken for a seriously mad comedy loop. There are dangers, however, like digging girls with big boyfriends, a homey getting involved with selling stolen goods and crime bosses with henchmen. In the latter case the boss is all smooth, but trying to sound bright, he uses big words that don’t actually exist and his side-kicks are two wise-cracking idiots, one over weight, the other in leg braces with an adenoid problem. Very silly, but quite funny in the process. The main aim is to go to the prom with the best girl while wondering if a future should be considered amidst the partying. A surprisingly enjoyable movie (judging by the poster is a bad idea as I didn’t have many expectations in that respect. Fashion fans will love the Naomi Campbell cameo. Poster prejudice should never decide whether to give a movie a shot or not, so don’t let the crap poster of this movie (or the cliché music video opening) deter you. Adding a thumping soundtrack and some funny bits wedged in between (like G’s granddad) make it an unexpected and fun comedy experience with loads of energy.
3 / A
- PB

THE TRIUMPH OF LOVE
With Mira Sorvino, Ben Kingsley
Directed by Clare Peploe
This romantic French farce has been performed live for several centuries. A beautiful royal falls in love with a young man. Only problem is that he is being raised by a thinker who feels that any form of romance or love for the opposite sex is taboo - boiling down to corruption of the mind, soul and body. To top it all they are opposed to her regime. But, she is not as evil as they believe. Only way to win him over is to infiltrate the chateau disguised as a man, convincing him otherwise. In the process she turns our staunch philosopher as well as his sister into lovesick puppies over her/him. On discovering her ploy, she seduces the old prude (as a woman) and his giddy sister in return (as a man) to convince her sibling to allow her to stay as a guest. The young man however is her main prize and it will not be an easy task. The tale lends itself to many comical situations as this sweet film seems to stay true to the text. A pleasant period piece surprise with great all-round peformances.
5 / C
- PB

TROY
With Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom, Peter O'Toole, Brian Cox
Directed by Wolfgang Petersen
Homer's classic retelling of the Troy tale is taken on by master filmmaker Wolfgang Petersen (who gave us the likes of Das Boot and The Perfect Storm). The epic tale of lust, for both love and power, its obsession and the destruction following as result is envisioned with style and impact. Sure, there was quite a bit of poetic license at play in beefing up the viewers' emotions. The futility of the carnage of war remains a given, no matter what the reason for it breaking out. Pitt won't disappoint his fans as the undefeated warrior Achilles who becomes the instrument used to defeat the army of Troy. While lengthy, this is a highly absorbing film to be enjoyed on levels from the gigantic FX and the romantic impetus to the action and the performances.
5 / B
- PB

THE TUXEDO
With Jackie Chan, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jason Isaacs, Debi Mazar
Directed by Kevin Donovan
Jackie, go back to Hong Kong and make us a real action movie like you used to - before Hollywood got their greenback fingers in your original kung-fu chop suey recipe. Chan is a fight & stunt master, but it seems as if he's merely become a commodity - which is surely good for his retirement fund and he deserves the exposure and credit - the knock-off takes on what he's been doing for decades just falling way short when it gets Westernized. In this particular passable flick Chan plays a taxi driver who lands the job of chauffeur to a secret agent. The guy has a computerized tuxedo that allows all sorts of impossible feats to whomever wears it. When the agent ends up in the hospital the incapable Chan has to impersonate him - the tux transforming him, making possible all sorts of over the top antics (half of it due to Chan's athletic prowess, the rest with FX). A power-mad wuss wants to contaminate the world's water supply to up sales of his mineral water. Chan teams up with Love Hewitt, an apprentice agent on her first field trip (who is more annoying than cute), trying to thwart the evildoer's plan. With a few stunts that seem generic now that Chan is world property, the usual comedic slant is also diluted with hack writing - not even the out-takes provoke real laughter. At least Colin Mochary (of Whose Line Is It Anyway?-fame) has a small role - too small to lift the film from its bog, though. Give me a low budget full-frontal HK action extravaganza any day. It has more heart, soul, impact, excitement and awe-inspiring spectacle than any Hollywood cash-in.
1 / C
- PB

12 MONKEYS
With Bruce Willis, Madeleine Stowe, Brad Pitt, Christopher Plummer
Directed by Terry Gilliam
Gilliam's visually brilliant eye and ability to translate this into his directing craft always makes for a great cinematic experience. Here he revisits the time traveling territory of Time Bandits (without the zany humour), and the unnerving futuristic world of Brazil (without the fantasy). Cole is sent back in time from 2035 for research clues as to the cause of the immense act of terrorism, which sent humanity underground. But on his arrival Cole's chucked in an insane asylum, his ramblings of the future not gelling well. He starts questioning his own sanity, his memory lapses and flashes not helping either. Two of the people he connects with are poles apart - a nutzo in the asylum (wonderfully played by Pitt) and the shrink who wants to help him. 12 Monkeys is a wonderfully gloomy film with many questions of a realistic and fantasy nature, regarding humanity, the world we live in and exactly who are the sane ones in a world that may not be as linear and logical as we'd like it to be.
PS. The screenplay's idea is somewhat based on the innovative black & white film La Jatee, which is compiled of stills.
5 / B
- PB

28 DAYS LATER
With Cillian Murphy, Naomie Harris, Christopher Eccleston, Megan Burns, Brendan Gleeson
Directed by Danny Boyle
There had been a few "human extinction" films around with some merit, but far too many that sucked. Danny Boyle, director of Trainspotting and The Beach, made some serious decisions in tackling this project. First of all, making a movie that can be seen as merely a zombie survival film, and secondly shooting it on digital video. Well in the first case, even if it is, great! I can't resist a good zombie flick and if this is what some want to call it, fine by me. The digital format gives the picture a surreal look in the transfer for cinema but on video, the high definition picture actually does not look like that of a TV programme). A borderline video look in fact gives the horror an even more realistic appearance in the absence the film grain's artistic look. The plastic video texture is minimal. The UK is laid in ruins after a rampant infection turns normal people on one another, savagely killing, maiming and spreading the infection. Jim, a young cycle messenger, wakes up in the hospital, having been in a coma while this catastrophe caught on over 28 days, laying the densely populated London to waste. Dazed, confused and dumbstruck, he can't find a living soul. Scenes of our loner wandering the empty, desolate and littered London streets are amazing, taking some serious co-ordination. The infected are vicious, scary, deadly monsters with an insatiable bloodlust, a single bite or scratch and it's a matter of minutes before you're one of them. When two survivors save him from becoming lunch to a gang of infected, their journey of survival brings them to a man and his daughter who believe there is a way out. The predominantly unknown cast is great as they resort to basic survival instincts, even in the face of hopelessness. 28 Days Later is an amazing hypothetical scenario with chilling scares, moral dilemmas, gruesome horror and practical as well as philosophical issues. It is an absolute disgrace that this great piece of cinema received such a short theatrical run in South Africa. Hopefully more people will get to witness this chilling movie on its video & DVD release.
6 / B
- PB

TWIN PEAKS
With Kyle MacLachlin, Ray Wise, Sheryl Lee, Sherilyn Fenn, Lara Flynn Boyle, Michael Ontkean, Joan Chen, Piper Laurie, Jack Nance
Directed by David Lynch & others
It took a brilliant director like David Lynch (together with Mark Frost) to breathe new life into the early '90s TV series format. With his dark, moody atmospheres and Angelo Badalamenti's fantastic soundtrack, just like Blue Velvet he created a mysterious world underneath the idyllic American small town veneer. Laura Palmer, the homecoming queen was murdered in the lumber town of Twin Peaks. Quirky FBI agent Cooper is sent out to investigate and he starts to uncover secrets and evil beyond our realm. Drugs, prostitution and murder are only a few of the dirty secrets. With an amazing array of characters from school kids to businessmen, rational folk and nuts, Lynch created an incredible community to whom we became quite attached across 30 episodes. While many of the episodes were written and directed by a host of other people, it is Lynch's pilot and mind-blowing finale that kicks ass. His use of the environment and sound (ambient or musically) shapes the invisible (and sometimes blatant) mystery hanging around the town and its characters that often plays like a soap opera, but with that extra snap that turns it into something brilliant. Twin Peaks is by far one of the most intriguing, visually cool and memorably innovative TV series ever, and obtaining the entire box set as I did, is not a bad idea.
6 / B
- PB

TWIN PEAKS - FIRE WALK WITH ME
With Kyle MacLachlin, Ray Wise, Sheryl Lee, Chris Isaak, Harry Dean Stanton, Keifer Sutherland, David Bowie, Moira Kelly, Jurgen Prochnow, Julee Cruise
Directed by David Lynch
The popularity of Lynch's unforgettable Twin Peaks TV series spawned this expositional cinematic prequel. It got a lot of flack but it is a very cool film, which retains the infectious atmosphere of the series with some added intensity that they couldn't show on TV (but a decade later came HBO shows like Oz and The Sopranos that go all the way). Assuming you've seen of all the 30 episodes (which is preferable to have this prequel make sense), it answers a few questions many fans were dying to hear as we're taken through events that led to Laura Palmer's murder (and all of the parties connected). The cosmic weirdness was not left behind with some visually fantastic and scary moments flowing from it. Badalamenti's indispensable soundtrack (with Lynch additions) is a brilliant jazzy, sometimes sleazy and mysterious noir-flavoured chunk of pure mood enhancement. If you loved the series, you can't help but love this movie.
5 / B
- PB

THE TWISTED TALES OF FELIX THE CAT: ORDER OF THE BLACK CATS and other stories
In Order of the Black Cats Felix gets drawn into a secret Black Cat society during Halloween while in Now Boarding he and his buddy get zipped into a board game and have to abide its crazy rules. When Felix Breaks the Bank, he does so by trying to break his piggy bank in order to buy a birthday gift for his friend - the piggy bank has other ideas, though ! Felix in Psychedelic Land speaks for itself and is one tripped out experience, man ! Accompanied with his trusty firend, Felix hits the Middle Ages when they travel back in time on discovering a book of old spells.
4 / A
- PB

THE TWISTED TALES OF FELIX THE CAT: SPACE-TIME TWISTER
When Felix tries to escape the Meat Man, his guardian angel just seems to make things worse while everything gets twisted in Space-Time Twister when Felix runs off with the Time Master's time machine. In true, logic-free Felix style, he finds a string while cleaning house and unravels a weird new world. Felix's renowned Bag of Tricks assists him in saving Rosco from the icky & nasty Sludge King (part I&II). Taking spaced-out and far-out to the next level, Felix is kidnapped and taken to Mars.
4 / A
- PB

28 DAYS
With Sandra Bullock, Viggo Mortensen, Steve Buscemi
Directed by Betty Thomas
A young woman ends up in rehab for 28 days after her reckless drinking habits result in her wrecking her sister’s wedding (plus a limmo and a house!). The motley crew of patients she meets up with slowly become her support structure as they face their problems. The humour is not wall to wall, but actually well handled for such a serious subject. The intensely dramatic and tragic moments surrounding the subject is not candy coated pretension. The actors handle the comedy and dramatic elements with tact (and Bullock is still a cute little thing both in pissed and sober mode).
4 / B
- PB

TWO BROTHERS
With Guy Pierce, Jean-Claude Dreyfus, Freddie Richmore
Directed by Jean-Jacques Annaud
Annaud has directed varied films like Quest For Fire, The Bear and The Lover. He returns to the animal theme he tackled in The Bear by focusing on two gorgeous tiger cubs. A fortune hunter out for a buck realizes that his ivory culling doesn't reach the kind of auction prices as ancient artifacts like sacred statues do. He heads to India, a proceeds stripping a ruin in the jungle to ship back for big bucks. But overzealous locals spot the tigers living in the ruins, killing the one parent. The two cubs get separated and eventually one ends up in a circus and the other as a boy's pet. Annaud gets the most out of the drama created by this - vicious men victimizing creatures of natural beauty and grace. As time passes, eventually through incredible circumstances, the two brothers meet again, but not on a friendly footing, the balance hanging whether they'll rip each other apart or remember one another. With the Bambi-factor present (without the soppy Disney bits), the amazing animals have to face the life men chose for them after losing a parent. Man's cruelty and greed knows no bounds, but at least one of them learns the error of their ways when the tigers triumph (in case animal lovers fear a terrible ending).
4 / C
- PB

2 DAYS IN THE VALLEY
met Danny Aiello, James Spader, Charlize Theron
Regisseur: John Herzfeld
'n Reeks storielyne vol intrige, geweld en humor, oorkruis mekaar en val saam op 'n baie interessante manier. Behalwe ontvoerders, bedrogplegers, polisiemanne, moordenaars, besigheidsmanne en aantreklike meisies, betrek dit selfs 'n verpleegster en 'n regisseur met 'n selfmoord-drang. Die rolverdeling is besaai met bekende gesigte. Behalwe die drie hoofspelers is daar ook Jeff Daniels, Eric Stoltz , Keith Caradine en Louise Fletcher. Suid Afrikaans gebore model, Charlize Theron, maak haar debuut met 'n groot slag. Sy's nie net 'n smeulende lyfie en gesig nie, maar 'n oortuigende femme fatale wat 'n Amerikaanse aksent goed kan naboots. 2 Days In The Valley is baie vaardig aanmekaar gesit met 'n atmosfeer wat goed tred hou met die passie.
4 / B
- PB

200 CIGARETTES
with Courtney Love, Christina Ricci, Ben Affleck, Casey Affleck
Directed by Risa Branson Garcia
Very entertaining look at a new years eve in the early 80’s. All the relevant couples, singles and friends (each with their own colourful characteristics, hang-ups and quirks), are on their way to a party. The hostess’s freak-out escalates as it crawls closer to midnight with none of her guests showing. Each of these groups of friends lead their own little story-lines filled with great humour and many real-life truths. A great 20-something comedy set almost 20 years in the past. A period piece if you will, for cool music and scary fashion - but it still contains exactly the same issues in relationships and sex as we do today - as it would be if it’s set 20 years into the future. Great little film.
5 / A
- PB

2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY
With Keir Dullea, William Sylvester, Gary Lockwood
Directed by Stanley Kubrick
It’s been over 30 years and this Science-Fiction masterpiece is still a total jaw dropper. Don’t expect slime dripping aliens or zapping space guns. In stead prepare yourself for an intelligent, masterfully constructed version of Arthur C. Clarke’s vision of the future and the evolution of computers, our origin and the possibility of something else “out there”.
6 / A
- PB

2010
With Roy Scheider, John Lithgow, Helen Mirren, Bob Ballaban, Keir Dullea
Directed by Peter Hyams
While this is not a bad film, it can't even begin to match the original majesty, mastery and mood of Kubrick's 2001. In its own right it is enjoyable, but as an attempt to answer the cryptic brilliance of its predecessor, it was a bit unnecessary. A joint US-Russian space expedition is sent out to get answers on the mysterious monoliths and as to what happened to Bowman, the malfunctioning HAL 9000 super-computer and the crew on the Discovery space ship nine years before. Obviously the Kubrick touch is noticeably missing, but it is no shabby piece of work.
4 / B
- PB